​Encounters with Paresthesia

I continue to have numbness and paresthesia (a sensation of "pins and needles" varying from irritating to painful) in an area surrounding my nose, jaw, lips, and chin. Saturday (8/27) of last weekend I suffered from intense paresthesia, spent most of that day not doing anything but waiting to feel better, and then felt like I had wasted the day with no improvement to show for it. It wasn't until the next day that it dawned on me that I can't spend my days waiting for this to improve before living my life. After that I re-engaged a bit more in the activities of my life, and found that once I was not dwelling on it so much, the irritation and pain receded, somewhat, into the background.
 
I saw my surgeon a few days later, and commented that I had been trying to assess each day whether there had been any improvement in that pain. He cautioned me that day-to-day assessment is not appropriate for nerve regeneration, because this kind of healing takes much longer. Rather, we can assess on a monthly basis, or perhaps twice a month. He said, people who look for improvement in this area day to day just end up driving themselves crazy. Hearing this was a bit of a blow. Though it wasn't the first time he had told me of this, it was finally hitting home for me, and I realized that this is yet another challenge to be patient.
 
Around that same time I had also been torturing myself with the fear that I might be among the small percentage of people who have permanent nerve damage, and that this condition will never improve for me. Statistics say that 85% of patients recover fully – but what about that other 15%? My counselor helped me consider this fear when we met last week. We reaffirmed my belief that I have an excellent surgeon who did a wonderful job in my surgery and who I trust when he tells me it's going to take a long time to heal. Also my counselor pointed out there are statistics about people having accidents while driving a car or flying in an airplane, and I don't spend time living in fear of those possible outcomes or let them stop me from driving or flying. If I answer his question, "Who would I be without that thought?" (without that fear), I realize I would be more relaxed, comfortable, and happy. So, I think I'll stay there, and I’m happy to say I have let go of that fear.
 
I am thinking about ways of being pro-active, though -- just a bit. My surgeon OK'd light touching of my face, just saying "hello" to the soft tissues and stimulating the nerves, not disturbing the healing work of the bones, etc. I won't call it "massage" because that implies too much depth and pressure. But loving touch - from myself, from Lorraine, from my parents, from anyone who wants to! - is all good, I think. I can't say that the nerves feel "better" as a result of such touching: I think that looking for results like that takes me right back into the trap of trying to identify and gauge short-term improvements. But I feel better, and I trust that all those good vibrations and good energy are beneficial for me, even if I don't know how. Kind of like prayer, I suppose.